Podunk Queer

Mmmm chubbilicious Friday mornin goodness.

2010-05-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

My first review.

2010-03-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

I really don't have any words. My restaurant was reviewed by The Pitch's food critic Charles Ferruzza. Despite some very valid critiques, the review was overwhelmingly positive. I can't help but feel that there was a good bit of focus on me and it was also very positive.

Hamburger Mary's figures Kansas City's ready for big gay burgers

This means a lot for Mary's, obviously. It also means a great deal for me. Through print media, one mans unabashed honesty, my punk rock in your face homosexuality and my love of food, my name was just put on the map as someone to watch.

Thank you Charles, very much.

So, I like chubby guys,,,

2010-03-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

It's been brought to my attention lately, how odd it is that "someone like (me) you likes chubby guys". At first I wasn't sure how to respond to this. I have no idea who should and shouldn't like chubby fellas. I for one do. I will take a big beefy sweet smilin muscle chub over a lean and mean boy any day. Thats just my thing. When asked "why?" I cannot provide and answer. I just do. People have suggested that perhaps my first sexual encounter was with a chubby guy. It was not. My first sexual encounter was with a well built older gentleman who could not be described as either muscled or a chub. So where does the attraction come from?

I have no idea. Though the idea of there being a "reason" per se interests me. For the life of me I couldn't fathom one. There is something to me about the way a heftier man feels when you hug him. The smoothness of his skin. The way he feels when snuggling in bed. And yes, I DO snuggle, "butch" or no, I fuckin snuggle. I enjoy the way a nice belly feels when pressed against me. Or the soft but massive strength in a heavier guys chest when my head rests on it.

I suppose this diatribe comes from feeling as though I have to justify what I am attracted to. Simply put. I do not.

Tell me this isn't sexy. A smaller, well built sexy fella snugglin up to and kissing a big, strong handsome muscle chub.

I wonder what ya'lls thoughts on this are.

Evolutions

2010-03-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that we, as human beings, are immensely passionate and emotional creatures. We are capable of so broad a range of feelings that one would be hard pressed to find words or descriptors for them all. Hell, for all that we feel in a day alone. So it stands to reason that we are oft times confused as to our own feelings. For that matter, what is a feeling? An Emotion? Are they merely blasts of neuro activity and chemicals being dumped into our blood after being triggered by stimuli? Or is there a hint of the ever elusive soul in there? One has to wonder. I know I do. Normally, I hold my feelings in tight reign. I dislike distraction and complication almost as much as I loathe repetition. Yet at times I find myself overwhelmed by emotion. Unable to parse what it is I am feeling, let alone how to react.

I find myself in such a predicament now. I do not like it. I find myself growing angry at the confusion and the inability to understand something so fundamentally ME. When you cannot comprehend your own emotional state. How do you explain it to those you love? Those who care for and worry after you?

As in many cases, I wish I had the answer. Sadly. I do not.

I am trying however.

Coming out of the sero-closet.

2010-02-10T09:29:00.000-08:00

Despite everything we have going on in this world. The economic woes, the battle between religion and science. Extremism along a hundred different lines. There are still some things that remain taboo, frightening and oft misunderstood. One of those things is HIV/AIDs. Even now in the new millennium, people are woefully ignorant of the virus. How does one catch it? Can you tell if someone has it? Will I catch it? What does it do to you? Should I avoid poz people all together?

The information is out there, sadly it Isn't spread around as much as it should be. I've found, however, that when faced with a friend or loved one who is poz, people tend to have reason to learn. So here it is. I am HIV positive. I'm not a monster or a boogey man. I am not a leper. I am not weak and sickly and I am not a madman bent on infecting everyone I meet. I am healthy, hell healthier than most people I know. I take care of myself and my boyfriend is negative and shall remain that way.

Why did I make this post? I really should have ages ago, honestly, but when confronted regularly by the fear and maliciousness that people have for poz people, I tend to keep it under my hat. Last night I overheard a discussion about HIV positive people and was disgusted by what I heard said. The anger fomented and became this. Me coming out of the sero closet in a hope that it will cause the people who know me to learn more about the virus. To educate themselves and each other and to prevent the "Us vs Them" mentality. Because for all you know, we're the guy standing right next to you when you call someone else an AIDs factory. And lemme tell ya, thats not a fun thing to hear.

2009-07-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

When all is said and done.
I did all I could...
...didn't I?

When all paths are exhuasted.
And all roads traveled.
Is the journey really worth more than the destination?

I'm not so sure.
...cause sometimes
just sometimes.

Where you're going
Means more than how you got there.

M.J McGuire-Curry
July 24 2009

Rough Trade Saints Pt. 1

2009-07-23T09:45:00.002-07:00

Gunmetal kisses and cordite-scented caress.
Longing for that choking pleasure-pain you provide.
I am addicted to the abuse, my necklace of bruises a testament to your love.
Yet all the clichéd lines slip away as the world is muffled,
my face thrust down into the dark pillowcase.

Gunmetal kisses against my temple, gun oil tears on my cheek.
"Baby, we're gonna have some fun" you whisper, cocking back the hammer.
You love it when I struggle, so I put up a fight as you rip into me.

Gunmetal kisses, digging into my skull.
It's impossible to know who truly surrenders.
The mix of sweat, pain and pleasure thickens the air...
Not that I can breathe, with your hand around my throat..
Though I know now, I own you as much as you own me.

Gunmetal kisses, the barrel slides across my tongue as you drop into me...
When you tell me what a worthless piece of ass I am, I hear "I love you."
And when I pass out the last I feel are gunmetal kisses across my neck.

M.J. McGuire-Curry
July 28th 2007

Rough Trade Saints Pt. 2

2009-07-23T09:45:00.001-07:00

Your spit tastes like cheap beer and expensive cigars.
You give me a face full as my cock rips you open.
Letting me know that you're in control,
Roles don't apply here, we don't understand them.
Top, bottom, sub, dom.
"Yes please" is all we comprehend.

My cum dripping from your ass as you squat on my chest,
jerking your bull dick in my face.
The primal stink of old sweat, precum and piss filling my nostrils.
It transcends desire.
It's the smell of love. Bitter, sweet, salty, wet, pure and untamed.

Thick ropes hit my face, my tongue, my neck.
The snarl leaves your lips, replaced by a smile...

M.J. McGuire-Curry
December 24th 2007

On Thought and Sense

2009-07-23T09:44:00.001-07:00

On Thought and Sense.
Giving definition to the undefinable.
As we strive to codify those things,
That give us our mystery.

As Life and Love are fleeting.
We scramble to put into words,
those things even we cannot fully express.

What are we without definitions?
When memories and emotions are all we have?
And it seems the heady mix of pleasure and pain goes on forever.

I say we are blessed.

M.J. McGuire-Curry
April 20 2007

reasons.

2009-07-23T09:43:00.001-07:00

I told myself that I had my reasons,
and now I realize they were wispy excuses
small justifications made to stave off guilt.
'cause surely I couldn't be to blame.
Afterall, I had my reasons,
right?

I can see it though
That shadow in your smile that lets me know
This time I went too far
Too far away into myself
Trying so hard to keep my secrets
To keep you away

M.J McGuire-Curry
March 13 2007

weapons

2009-07-23T09:42:00.002-07:00

Assume me not, neither heart nor soul.
I am not yours, perhaps not my own.
And from strange lands and distant waters grown.
Born once of pain, purified by loss.
Scarred by grief, tempered now by fire.
I am a blade of metal purged of dross,
and wielded by naught but my own desire.

Do not assume me, my way is not yours.
Mine is a path with homes in heaven and hell
and I will do as I must but still, remember..
The Gods forge their weapons well.

M.J. McGuire-Curry
January 17 1997

a new face...

2009-07-23T09:42:00.001-07:00

It's been a long hard road, to hell and back
And yet I find myself limping along.
I've seen the landscape change more times than I care to recall
And nothing is familiar
But I keep moving, restless and tired
Toward something new, because you see
You can never go home again.
Not that I would even know where to start
Let alone where i'd be when I came to the end.

So I take off the mask i've been wearing,
Throw it to the ground with hands that no longer shake.
The next one will fit better than the last
But only for awhile.

I wonder how many miles I can get out of this one.
A jesters smile and slanted eyes.

M.J. McGuire-Curry
December 16 2006

A smattering of haiku

2009-07-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

Vague thoughts like smoke clouds
Amidst dire warnings and praise
What am I to do?

Music tells my love
here now in the pulse and beat
I find Lakashim.

Freeway overpass--
Blossoms in graffiti on
fog-wrapped June mornings

Dallas summer song:
cicadas whir, the
sirens call

The inbetween times
When thought and sense take their form
When I know myself.

M.J McGuire-Curry
Various dates, 2007

We are each our own

2009-07-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

In beat and measure we set our lives,
a daily routine becoming daily grind.
At times we see our deficiencies,
as nothing more than effect of cause.

And yet, we shun the unexamined life,
to strive for recognition when we ourselves
fail to recognize.

So insular we've become.
Even those of us who claim empathy.
Solace and solitude compete,
for our essential natures.

Where from here?
No man is an island?
We are each our own universe.

M.J McGuire-Curry
October 10 2007